Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
