Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
