Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
