The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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