i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
