butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
