He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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