ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
