for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
