it hurts more in the daytime
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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