i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
