they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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