I can tuck mytits in my pants
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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