honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
