Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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