the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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