DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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