Welp...herpes.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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