I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
