I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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