So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
