she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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