OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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