but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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