last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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