A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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