I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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