i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
No more Irish car bombs ever.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
