I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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