there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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