I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
