i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
