Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
