I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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