I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize