so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Randomize
