A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
