first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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