shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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