there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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