still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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