so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
