at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
