singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
