I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
