ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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