she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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