He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize