Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
