I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
