either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
