Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize