If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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