so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
