windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I party with great urgency now.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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