My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize