she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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