She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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