I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
