R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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