Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
