All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
