oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
