he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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