What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Please don't give away my fajitas
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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