I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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