I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
