yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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