hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
