Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
