i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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