I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
