Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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