just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
