well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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