I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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