you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
