if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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