He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
