Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
