It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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