the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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