You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
