I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
